Welcome to Refinery29’s Feel Good Diarieswhere we document the physical and mental wellness routines of women today, what they cost, and whether these self-care rituals actually make you feel good.
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Today: A woman spends her time taking daily walks, working out at the gym and treating herself to a Monday cookie.
Age: 37
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Occupation: Licensed Behavior Specialist
Salary: $75,000/year
Editor’s note: This diary was written in October 2022.
First day
7:15 am – I wake up early. I wake up every morning and say five to 10 things I’m grateful for and I thanked the universe this morning for allowing me to take a deep breath. I always say that gratitude fuels your joy and naming what you are grateful for in the morning is a good practice. It also allows me to lay in bed for a few minutes before jumping up and reminding myself that I don’t live in scarcity, I live in abundance.
8:30 am — I walk a mile and get an iced caramel macchiato from a nearby Starbucks — my daily morning drink. But first, I hydrate. I have a rule: hydrate before I caffeinate. $6
11 a.m. — Then I go out into my community garden. I was in a group with other black women to learn how to live off the land using Octavia Butler’s principles Parable of the Sower. We are an Earthseed Skillshare. Earthseed Skillshare is a month-long training series that highlights many of the themes and skills found in the novel. Earthseed, a community in Butler’s novel, focuses on survival, spirituality, mutual aid, and rebuilding and reshaping their relationships with each other and Mother Earth. They practice and emphasize the importance of agriculture, carpentry, education and community support. During Earthseed Skillshare, we cover five topics: The history of Black people’s relationship with the land, safety and self-defense, gardening and farming, building and rebuilding, and living on the land. They were advertising for black women to apply to be part of their next cohort, so I applied and was accepted.
Today’s session is about harvesting and removing the bed. We work in teams of two to harvest the food that has grown this season and we can take it home. At the end of the session, we go get pizza at a place nearby that prioritizes hiring ex-prisoners. I order a plain cheese pizza and pay myself. $11
Daily total: $17
Day two
6 a.m. — Another day, another walk. I’m on day 995 of the daily walk, and it’s also World Mental Health Day. As I walk, I think a lot about how, in the Black community, we have come a long way in identifying the ways in which we hurt. We call a spade a spade. When I was growing up, I remember many of the black people in my community always saying they had “bad nerves” when in reality it was anxiety. We didn’t have a name for it. We have names for things now.
11:30 am — For lunch, I take a brisk walk and order a fish wrap. I go to work every day from 8:30 am. to 2:30 p.m. Since I work in the mental health field, I try to create times during my work schedule where I can leave the building for a few minutes to refresh. $13
3 p.m. — When work is done, I go to Crumbl Cookies. Grabbing a cookie every Monday after work has become a weekly treat. It gives me something to look forward to. The menu changes every week, but today I’m getting a square french toast cookie. $5
Daily total: $18
Third day
4 p.m. — The work is over and I am resting. I try to either lie down or read after work every day. It allows me to come back to myself. I’m studying Women Talk Money: Breaking the Taboo edited by Rebecca Walker. I love reading books where women don’t always talk about love and relationships. We are thinking of many other beautiful things.
6 p.m. — I go to my local gym for a water aerobics class and wear a pretty bright pink swimsuit. I feel weightless in the water — not just body weight, but just light from whatever clings to my body trying to hold me down. I pay $50 a month for my subscription.
I have been doing water aerobics since November 2011 and I go to the gym about three to four days a week. I attend classes such as spin, body pump and Zumba.
8:15 p.m. — After my workout, I go and grab curry udon noodles from a local ramen place. I eat out about four times a week. $17
Daily total: $17
Wednesday
7:50 am — After my morning walk, I record my weekly Wellness Wednesday video. Every Wednesday, I make a video to offer some gentle reminders to help people live well and post it on Instagram. Today, I discuss the importance of not expecting things from people that you are not willing to give yourself.
7:30 p.m. — I’m taking my friend A. to see the documentary Chasing Trane, about the great John Coltrane. It was good. I’m a fan of light Coltrane — I own “A Love Supreme” on vinyl. But there was so much I didn’t know about Coltrane. I didn’t realize that he fought heroin addiction on his own, knowing that if he did, he would become the greatest version of himself. I also didn’t know he died at the young age of 40. This was a good reminder to me that everything we are supposed to do should be done in the now. I paid for both of our tickets. $20
10 p.m. — After the movie, A. and I are hungry, so we get cheesesteak fries that cost a dollar each. I got six. $6
Daily total: $26
Thursday
8:10 am — I get my usual Starbucks after my walk and before I start work. It’s nice to go get your drink and have the barista learn your name. It’s like Cheers theme song: “Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name.” $6
6 p.m. — I go to a hip-hop aerobics class at my gym. As a plus size woman, it is so important to take up space in my fitness classes and celebrate my body along with all the other bodies in the class.
9 p.m. — After I work out, I like to soak my body, so I light candles and run with hot steam Melatonin Bubble Bath by Dr. Teal. I put on one of my favorite meditations by Lauren Ash, called Self-Compassion.
Daily total: $6
Day Six
6:30 am — It’s the 999th day in a row that I’ve been walking. I can’t believe I’m so close to being done. Nine is such a special and divine number as it signifies completion — and I’m almost there. I’m an Aries. I have a competitive nature, but mostly with myself. I started walking 1000 days in a row to give myself a challenge and document it to see if I could complete it. I started walking with Girltrek, the largest health and wellness organization for Black women by Black women, and they gave me this plan to walk every day for at least 30 minutes. While it was hard at first because I hated walking as a form of movement. Over time, I built a habit of walking three days a week, then five days, and now I walk every day.
2:30 p.m. — I started my work week with Crumbl Cookies and decide to end my work week with hand-dipped ice cream. They are the little rituals I plant in my week that I look forward to with love. I scooped a double scoop of milk chocolate and vanilla into a handmade waffle cone. $10
6:30 p.m. — Dressing up to go out for dim sum with my friends A, K, and N. Good friends are so important to my mental health. Being able to surround yourself with people you love and admire is magical. We collectively ordered beef lo mein, chicken dumplings, fried chicken wings, and hot and spicy soup. It was delicious. We paid $26 each. $26
Daily total: $36
Day seven
8:10 am – I achieve my goal. It’s my 1000th day of walking. This is what I wrote on my Instagram post, under a photo of myself jumping today after the walk: “My life is sacred. My spirit is full of god. My soul is beautiful.”
1 p.m. — I meet my best friend T. and her three beautiful daughters in the park. While the kids are playing, my friend and I are playing covering up our lives. There is a street market that sells food, so I buy a grilled beef sausage for me and my friend. $10
8:30 p.m. — I’m at home laying on my bed texting this new queer cutie I met. Serotonin Refill: Free. I’m thankful.
Daily total: $10
Weekly total: $130
Reflection: Daily walking has had the biggest impact on my wellness routine. It has allowed me to build mental muscle and consistency to continue to motivate me in life. The most negative was the access to all the sweet pleasant things that I indulge in from time to time.
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