Like many women, most of my life I have had the pleasure of having a beautiful privilege. This is not something I am proud to say, but it is my truth. While I didn’t depend on my looks to get me anything or anywhere in life, having a “pretty face” made being a fat girl in rural Georgia a little easier. As I grew older and began to understand life, I purposely focused on being smart because I didn’t want to be just a pretty face. Despite my desire to be more, I can honestly say that I have largely fallen short of society’s beauty standards.
Societal hair ideals had suffocated me for a long time because God forbid I be fat with diaper hair. For years, I put creamy crackers in my beautiful thick 4C hair in an attempt to live up to these standards. There was a point in my life where I relaxed my hair every week just to make my hair feel the way others said it should. Even after I made the decision to grow my hair back to its natural state, I wasn’t adamant about that decision, so I hid my natural hair with wigs and weaves that gave me bone straight hair that was beautiful. In retrospect, there’s nothing logical about any of this, but that’s usually the order of operation. you do something stupid, learn more from your mistakes, and then shake your head at yourself. However, the fact is that hair debates have haunted black women since the beginning of time and I was no different. According to the good book, a woman’s hair was her glory and should not be cut. Back then only fast women dyed their hair, if your hair was too short you were a lesbian and flowers were out of the question for women who were classy, feminine, feminine or professional.
Influence is defined as the ability to have an effect on the character, development or behavior of someone or something. I personally believe that everyone is influential in some way, although there are some of us who benefit from our influence, which to some amplifies its importance to others. To be honest, I’m not sure who influenced the increase in women going to locs. I can only speak for myself by saying that I was tired of conforming to standards that would only find me further away from who I truly was and still not fully embracing. Maybe the credits went to celebrities like Halle & Chloe, Ava DuVernay, Willow Smith and Ledisi. Maybe the change happened when locticians got more creative with loc styles. Perhaps the CROWN Act helped women make the transition because it allowed them to be free from discrimination in the workplace. Or maybe they took a page from my book and said f$&k society and its beauty standards. Regardless of the cause, our minds have matured (like some 1 year old starter) and I love that about us. The spaces are beautiful, offer a range of style options, most of all they make a statement for the people who rock them.
I started my journey to the region 5 years ago at a very critical time in my life. I was in the middle of physical, emotional and spiritual journeys and it was outside of my healing process. I was growing in ways I never thought possible and felt that growth should include letting my hair grow freely. I undoubtedly credit my trip to the area with influencing my increased sense of self, positive energy, and spiritual and emotional growth.
1 Corinthians 11:15 (But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given to her for a covering) may have influenced one of society’s most problematic beauty standards to date. However, women with kinky hair no longer respond to this idea, we choose to do whatever makes us want to do with our hair, including the initial hairs, cutting our locks to start a new set if they feel like their journey has been compromised. In my opinion, this shows how deep the connection is between flowers and the women who choose to make the journey, especially when considering society’s beauty standards regarding a woman’s hair.
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