By Trish B., award -winning publisher + cultural commentator
The lust is easy. Discipline is divine.
In a society that rewards the enemy and conquest, too many men – especially black men – sacrifice their future for elusive pleasure. The cost is not always immediate. It comes in moments lost, the inheritance that has been destroyed and the possible left -handed. It comes quietly, in the form of non -exhausted wounds and patterns that repeat their generation after the generation.
There was a man – let’s call him Marcus.
He was charismatic, gifted and grew up in the Black Church. His mother prayed on him. His father taught him to lead. Until the mid -1930s, Marcus had deposited children from three different women, lost his marriage and watched his career to unfold. It was not violent. It was not careless in words. But he was careless with energy – and lust was his choice.
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Every time his life is pushing, he asked for temporary relief to a new body. A new emotion. A new illusion of control. It confuses comfort with clarity. Sex with connection. Attraction with value. And behind every climax was the slow erosion of purpose. He once admitted to a friend: “I feel like I always start. Every time Peace is approaching, I destroy it.”
What Marcus did not say – but what his life revealed – is this: he had never dominated his art to say no. His body drove. His mind followed. His future waited for him. And his legacy shouted.
But Mark is not alone.
In all communities, black men are prepared to measure male age from performance – how many women can attract, how desirable they appear, how dominant they look. But sovereignty without discipline is not power. It’s a trap.
In fact, the systematic structures already stacked against black men – imprisonment, financial inequality, false media statement – became more dangerous when desire becomes a way of life. The same society that overrides black also criminalizes them. Gained their pleasure and punishes their pain.
According to black sexuality and relationships magazine, unresolved trauma – especially childhood sexualization and emotional neglect of adults – can manifest as hyper -sexual behavior, especially in black men who were never given language for emotional expression. In the absence of treatment, the intense desire becomes a mechanism of treatment. But unlike treatment, lust always asks for more than it gives.
And very often, they are women – and sometimes even male partners – who are done by side damage to someone else’s pleasure. He’s sick. It’s disgusting. And is rarely recognized.
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We see this in social media, where male validation is linked to how many women attract, not how many honor. We see it on reality television, where toxicity is rebuilt as charm. We see it in the barber shop, in the closet, in the group conversation. And we see it in the countless broken houses where love lived, but the ego moved.
Let’s be clear – this is not about demonizing sexuality. Sex is sacred. The connection is strong. But whatever sanctuary used becomes dangerous. The truth is: the fierce desire makes men predictable. And in a world built to take advantage of this predictability, black men who do not have retention becomes easy goals – for emotional manipulation, economic drainage and spiritual decline.
Women know it. Some are exploiting. Especially in a culture where social capital and monetary gain can be linked to which you sleep with which you expose or to whom you are trapped. From the scandals of influences to trapping systems, from only to false intimacy – many women have learned how to turn male weakness into leverage. In transnational dating, this momentum becomes even more complicated, as black men are sometimes tempted by aesthetic softness and submission, while not unknowingly passing on relationships that do not cultivate their full identity – only their fantasies.
But this is not just exploitation by others. This is accountability inside.
Because the real Flex? The real evolution? It is not in how many women you can sleep. It is in how many temptations you can move away. It is in the purpose of the purpose over pleasure. Peace over standards. Call over chaos.
Whenever a man says no to what he doesn’t serve him, he says yes to what he will do.
This is not a shame. This is awakening. Because every day a man gives a strong desire, he abandons a piece of himself. His energy is scattered. Its focus is fading. The delays of his destiny. But when choosing discipline, he chooses a legacy. And this is a force that has no system, no stereotype, the seduction cannot steal.
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It’s time to lift the bar for our men. Not with perfection, but with a vision. Not by punishment, but on purpose. People do not need more men who can fascinate a room. It takes more men who can conquer themselves.
